Wednesday, December 30, 2009

stay on his good side

if you know what's good for you

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pick Art Festival MUNICH

November 2009
(photos property of Tarkinson and Pick Art Festival Munich)

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

burrito unicorn care

make sure to keep "people food" away from your burrito unicorn

burrito unicorns have a very, very fragile digestive system and should only be fed their native diet of jellybeans and green salad

nothing is more painful to watch than a diarrhea rainbow pouring out of a poor little burrito unicorn's ass


take care of your burrito unicorn and it'll take care of you

(from the upcoming "burrito unicorn instruction manual" zine)

Friday, December 25, 2009

keep your burrito unicorn in the house in the morning

our burrito unicorn will roam the neighborhood if you let it out...

keep it in check.

burrito unicorn will knock over trash cans with abandon and
scarf down any random trash he finds


keep burrito unicorn inside in the mornings
or on a leash..

your neighbors will hate you if their trash is strewn all over the place.

(this is from the upcoming "burrito unicorn instruction manual" zine)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

the return of cobra alarm clock

oh, cobra alarm clock...

it's getting harder and harder to keep up with your demands everyday

you need more attention than I can offer you in these
dark winter months


just keep it down in the morning..

especially, when I'm trying to sleep

I know it's your job to wake people up...
take a vacation once in awhile and don't be so good at what you do..

you're making the rest of us look bad

Saturday, December 19, 2009

this is what happens if you don't wash your car

I haven't washed my car in over six years..
it's kind of weird, because I wash dishes as soon as I'm done with them. I'm pretty clean and organized with most everything else.

but..the outside of a car
no way!

I just don't care

I can always find something I have to do more than wash a car

look at it!!
there's moss growing on there!


go little moss GO!!

the haggard scratches are from some chains that broke on Snoqualmie Pass about five years ago during a crazed snowstorm.

the snowstorm had an intensity level of 100%

we were just stoked to get out of there alive.

if you ever have to chain up, don't push the chains to their absolute limit.. follow the guidelines.

If you don't, your car will end up looking like mine

draw session!

draw session with Karl Addison and Adrian...


so much fun!


this experiment= tremendous success

just in case you were wondering..

and I know you were

The George Foreman Grill cooks hash browns perfectly!


Friday, December 18, 2009

late night screen print session!

screen printing in the middle of the night= fun times!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

a key to a brighter today

step 1:
get a packet of hot cocoa

step 2:
add hot water and mix it up in a mug
(preferably a bunny mug)

step 3:
drink cocoa through one of those thin red straws.
it makes hot cocoa so much more fun to drink
and at the same time it makes you feel like a little kid again.

multitask that cocoa!

step 4:

Saturday, December 12, 2009

new ink

I finally went out and got some good, new oil-based ink.
I love this stuff
I don't know why I deprived myself from it for so long.

It takes longer to dry, but it's worth it.

c'mon new ink!! let's make this happen!

Friday, December 11, 2009

don't shake vending machines!!

vending machines are just that... they're machines

machines have been building up resentment for a long time now


the robot apocalypse AKA the robot uprising is on its way.
stay on their good side, if you know what's best for you

sometimes a vending machine will strike back,
tip itself over and crush a person...

that's one less pesky human to deal with during the upcoming
robot vs. human war.

believe me, they're like elephants.. they don't forget

if you don't know what I'm talking about..
go rent the Terminator movies now!

... and leave that bag of chips dangling in the vending machine

wish list

I thought of something I want today
I don't usually make wishes
but, this is important

When this life comes to an end and I get reincarnated
I really want to come back as a happy sea lion

basking in the sun and sleeping on a beach somewhere

I'd like it to be on a beach that has banned "baby seal clubbers"

that way I won't have to look over my shoulder all the time to keep out of harms way

Thursday, December 10, 2009

FUQUIN brand products worldwide

Let's interject a little swearing in the public arena through the power of popular brands.

FUQUIN aka "fucking"....
it's so perfect, this brand could be used for anything

example: FUQUIN brand finer coffee


"hey, you want to go get some coffee?"

"yeah! let's go get some delicious FUQUIN coffee!"

everyone loves FUQUIN coffee!
(I picture a grandma saying it... AH HA!!!)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

$100 and under show at Retrofit Home

lots of artists in this group show.. good times!
$100 and under
this Thursday, December 10th
from 5 to 8pm

Retrofit Home is at
1419 12th Avenue
Seattle, WA 98122

good times!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

holiday sales

this time of year, retail stores have tons of sales..
but, at the same time they are always complaining that profits are down..

I came up with some new sales ideas for the wide world of retail

"buy one item, get the second item.. at full price!"

"buy one, get zero for FREE!"

"buy two for the price of three!"

"buy one item, get a receipt for FREE!"

"buy one item and we will make a wish in your name to an imaginary unicorn and various tree gnomes.. for FREE!"

Sunday, December 6, 2009

good times!

look to all that is good and gorgeous out there!


(this post was not fueled by Spire Cider while doing work at the office)

Thursday, December 3, 2009

reverse nap

I've been out of it all day.

I woke up last night at 1am and stayed up till 3:30am
then got up again at 7:30am

I blame it on the full moon last night

waking up in the middle of the night for a short interval equals a reverse nap

reverse naps can be useful for;
wasting time
having fun

but this one didn't work out as good as it could have.
sometimes they backfire

FACT: whales love bad art

see any bad art laying around?

grab it up quick and bring it down to the ocean.
the whales are starving and love the taste of it.

bad art to whales is what cake is to humans
help out a whale belly and get some bad art down there...

they will gently eat it right out of your hand
and you will love it!

it is our job to keep these beautiful mammoths of the sea well fed.
they can't live on microscopic plankton alone

save these whales from a bland diet

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

urban indoor camping

I slept in a tent that I set up in my apartment for a year.

I went on this really fun roadtrip down the Oregon Coast
and when I got back, I decided to keep the dream alive.

I set up the tent
put some sleeping bags in it
hung some blue Christmas lights
(to give the illusion of the moon at night)...

and burned cedar scented incense all the time..

I was great!!

I ended up getting a blow-up type mattress and it put too much pressure on the tent...
it ultimately brought the tent down.

those were the days..

I have to get a new tent soon... and relive the glory!